Introducing Buffy

Introducing Tilly to you was easy. Describing Buffy to you will be harder. I first met Buffy right after we started riding our motorcycle. We went to a get together with a local motorcycle group in our area and after the meeting I was introduced to Buffy. I found it challenging to break through her barrier and get to know the real Buffy, however as time passed I learned more about her and we became friends.

She has a unique personality. She wears her hair in what I call a gibson girl up do with little strands of curls hanging down and around her face. She loves hair pieces and layers of jewelry. Buffy has her own sense of style and fashion.  

 I’ve nick named her a space cadet. If you are blond please don’t be offended. She’s blond and goes in a hundred different directions while her mind is someplace else. She speaks before she thinks and doesn’t recognize the word no, landing her in many  predicaments, such as the time the library committee asked her to do a display to help raise money for the purchase of new books. Of course she had responded with an enthusiastic yes. The only problem she faced was the table. It was to be decorated as the theme of a book. “she had read.” I quote, “she had read.”

She still didn’t see a glitch in the scheme of things even though she doesn’t like to read. In her mind the problem was solved. Fran loves reading. Buffy’s thinking is different than the average person. She called on her friend who reads a lot and would come to her aid. Yes I did what any good friend would. I went through my books and pulled out a trilogy by Nora Roberts. Carried them over to her house discussed the characters and the plot of the story. Between us we gathered all the items necessary for the presentation. Needless to say the table was a big success and the committee received the money for the much needed books.

Buffy monitors her neighborhood. She takes pride in her home. A Victorian house surrounded by beautiful gardens created by an amazing green thumb. Her greatest desire in life is for all of her neighbors to keep their homes and yards nice. Don’t get me wrong she has a heart of gold, if any of them needed her advice regarding their yard she would be happy to share her knowledge with them or her labor and on more than one occasion her husband’s labor.

She’s out every morning jogging up and down the neighborhood. Buffy was out for a brisk run early one day and got pretty worked up about a broken down thirty foot sail boat that had seen better days, parked in the owner’s side yard next to the street. In other words an eye sore! When she arrived near the vessel she stopped in her tracks doing what we girls like to call the Buffy majorette jog.

 Please give me a moment to describe this scene to you. Buffy jogs in place moving elbow to knee, elbow to knee, the only thing missing is her baton. She is a sight to behold. A neighbor happens to be out working in her yard unaware Buffy had spotted her target.  

Still moving in place, Buffy yells out “What do you think of this boat?”

The lady responded back, “Well I don’t care much for it, why?”

“You need to do something about this, Buffy said.

They carried on a conversation for a while, then Buffy took her arm and said “come on we’ll call the mayor.”

Buffy lives in her leave it to beaver bubble and most of the time we all let her. Don’t get me wrong there are many facets to Buffy. She’s a chameleon. She puts on an outer facade to hide her real self, an act used to shield oneself from rejection. Buffy is dependent on this psychological mechanism which works for her. My sister hides her true feelings from strangers so her heart will not be broken. This is our Buffy.

As women we have all been through many things in our lives and we tend to keep unpleasant memories buried within ourselves. If one is forced to face the traumatic events, it might be the last straw. In my opinion it’s OK to forget and move on with one’s life. We just need to live for better days ahead.

I will now touch on an important subject that came up on Wednesday night. I believe all women need to read this and pay attention because this could be you. Like always we had all gathered together and for some reason the subject came up about wills and knowing where our spouses kept all the important papers in case something happened to them. I myself know the location of all our documents, wills, (his and mine) life insurance, funeral arrangements and finances. My husband and I talked about these unpleasant subjects and have taken care of everything down to the head stone already in place. So our children are not burdened with any unnecessary decisions when they are grief-stricken. I realize this is a subject most people avoid talking about. I had to face this issue in my thirty’s when I became sick and  found myself facing some very tough choices. Just because you may be young this horrible subject must be dealt with head on. You need to update these documents as time goes by and circumstances in your life change.

As we were discussing this issue it came to light, some of the ladies were in the dark in regard to their finances or even if they had a life insurance policy or worse yet, a will. Ladies if you are reading this and find yourself saying, my husband handles everything, you need to get informed and become proactive with the decisions concerning your own future. Don’t wait until after the fact! Yes, you can still let him handle all the bills, however make sure you understand the topics in regard to your own life!

Introduction to my friends known as my sisters

                                                                 

You know the saying the best laid plans. Life has a way of changing them for us, sorry my post is late. Before we move on please let me take this time to introduce to you my sisters. Each of these women have come in to my life in the past ten years. I will introduce one each week to you and tell how she came into my life. Their names are Tilly, Caro, Buffy, Reena and Sissy.
First is our host, Tilly I smile every time I remember the very first time I met Tilly.  It was during a time in my life when my wonderful husband was going through the so call change of life and let me tell you if your husband hasn’t gone through it yet believe me he will, so hold on to your seat and get ready for the ride of your life.
One morning you will wake up and the husband whom you thought was very happy growing old with you will be looking in the mirror flexing his muscles not seeing what you have been seeing for many years. You know the thinning hair lines, the loss of muscle tone. Instead he sees in the mirror a man of his youth and desires the one thing he could not have during his responsible years of providing for his family.
He had decided what he needed most, is a Harley Davidson Motorcycle, can you believe it. This is a man who came into my life sixteen years ago and changed it for the better. Because I loved him I consented.    Realizing how crazy this idea was. I still jumped in with both feet. Don’t get me wrong I was not, nor ever would be considered a biker babe. I very clearly told him I was a Interior Designer and I would look like one on the back of his bike and this is how I met Tilly. Coy was out riding one morning with his wanna be baby biker boomer guys. I had stayed behind to finish up a job that morning. When all of a sudden I heard the roar of motorcycles. I ventured out to see why Coy was home. He was parked in the driveway with his best buddy and the most striking women I had ever seen. Needless to say, on her own Harley Davison motorcycle. The only way to truly describe her is she reminded me of a Pocahontas Indian  with her long jet black hair braided and pulled back which showcased her high cheek bones and amazing eyes. Her black leather chaps emphasized her long legs. I though what the hell is she doing with my husband and his friend they are married.
Coy interrupts my thoughts, “Fran I want you to meet Tilly, she refused to go riding with us until she met you and asked your permission to go out riding with us.”
As I greeted her I realized she was a women who respected the sanctity of marriage. From that day on she became a part of my heart. I learned in the next coming weeks she was learning how to ride her motorcycle.  This became more apparent when a large group of us spent a better part of the day out on a charity ride.
Late in the day we headed back for food and drinks. As the day fell into night Tilly had consumed one to many drinks. I voiced this to my husband as she was straddling her bike. I believed she should not be riding in her shape. My husband was trying to reassure me they had it under control. I believe to this day a heavenly angel took over.
 Picture this, I’m sitting on the back of my husbands bike Tilly is on hers situated right behind us and our other friend is to the right of Tilly, she started her engine, lights came on lighting up everything in front of me.  Turning I said, “Tilly are you sure you can ride home?”
She looked at me funny and  proceeded to reply, “yap.”
 Turning in my seat I still felt uncomfortable with her riding, suddenly I notice her head lights moving,and they shouldn’t have been. The lights were beaming sidewards heading straight towards the ground, needless to say she went down. She got up a little unsteady and brushed herself off. The men upright her bike and proceed to find a place to store her bike for the night.
 Hearing laughter to my right, I glance over Tilly was laughing so hard she said, “Whoops, I guess I’ll be riding on the back of someone’s bike.”
The look on her face was so funny I couldn’t help but laugh and with tears rolling down my face, I knew with out a doubt she was meant to be in my life.
Through time I learned she was a survivor of cancer and a strong women who went through a rough marriage. Her belief in God carried her through the death of her Mother. She gives all she can to her daughter in the good times and bad times. Her home has always been open to all, she never speaks a unkind word about anyone. God has kept his hand on her and has blessed her with a new husband, whom we all  have fallen in love with. Their home is still open to all of us anytime we need it to be. When we enter we enter with their love.
This is my beloved sister who shares her home with us  every week and I know as time goes on you will fall in love with her too.

Now I'll tell you about Wednesday night, it was my birthday and I was running late which is not something I do, I'm always on time. However I had spent the day out with Cara and my sister in-law. We did some shopping and I had a wonderful lunch with them. I decided to wait until my husband arrived home from work before I headed out for ladies night. I had one of those moments, I needed a hug and kiss from him.
Running late by thirty minutes I received a call from my sisters worried I was not coming. I told them I'd be there in a second. As I walked through the door of Tilly's house they yelled out Happy Birthday and proceeded to sing. Handing me a drink we gathered in the living room. Time passed by when all of the sudden Cara yelled out oh my OMG we forgot to get the cake out of the refrigerator when we sang. This is true to form.... Thank you to all of you for a wonderful night. More on my next post. Bye for now.

Margaritas and Menopause:

                                Welcome

   For the past ten years my sisters and I gather together every week for what we call girls night out disguised as American Idol Night, in other words bitch night. Loving our time together so much we decided to continue, and now it is a tradition. On any Wednesday night you will most likely find us in many states of emotions. If you can get a word in edge wise my hat is off to you. Most important if you can follow one conversation from beginning to end I’ll sing praises to you

 We come from many back grounds and walked through different life experiences. We carry our issues around like Louie Vuitton luggage. Why do I describe our baggage of life Louie Vuitton because it’s timeless having been around for ages and yes most important known for amazing style and class. This is how I feel about my sisters. Our entire journey’s carried us to the other side of life. We embrace our own strengths and weakness experiencing life’s fullness this feat is only archived when someone embraces the good and bad life’s thrown at them. Each of us walked along a path leading to this time in our lives. We are all over fifty and some are going through or completed menopause and all the power surges, mood swings and everything else under the sun. When we gather together one can’t help but recognize the same strength and special calling we as women have. As women over fifty we understand without a doubt our lives have come full circle.

I want to encourage you to join me and experience life with us and maybe just maybe you will find a little of yourself in us. Through this experience I can only guarantee one thing you will carry away with you. My sisters and I embrace life and we deeply love one other. So grab a margarita, sit back curl up and I truly hope you laugh and cry right along with us.